And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
