You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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