i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
