Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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