And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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