you traded sex for a burrito?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
