May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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