What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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