Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
worst night to have a conscience
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
