everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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