those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
