he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
