Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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