I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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