I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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