her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
