Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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