Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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