New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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