i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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