Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
