just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
