i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
