Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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