Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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