I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
