He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
