When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
