So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm both gender and math confused
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
