Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
