I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
