I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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