its not stalking. its research.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
