Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
