Sry I called you an 8
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
