In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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