I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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