Umm I'm too high to move.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
