I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
