And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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