omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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