I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
