She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
