3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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