Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
