I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize