i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize