i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Everclear isn't food dammit
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
