Little spoons don't ask big questions
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
