Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
