I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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