Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
