don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
