My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
