new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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