well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
a search helicopter?!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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