I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
