he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
