We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
