i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
