ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
