The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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