Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
