I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
