For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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