My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
