I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Terrible idea I love it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
